At first, Eric seemed perfect — polite, charming, thoughtful. The kind of man who showed up early with roses and held doors open like it was second nature. After one easy, laughter-filled dinner, I actually believed my best friend was right about him. Then, the next morning, an email arrived: “Invoice for Last Night.” Itemized charges for dinner, flowers, and “emotional labor,” complete with a warning that failure to comply would “result in Chris hearing about it.” My jaw dropped. The “gentleman” had turned the evening into a spreadsheet of manipulation.

But karma moves quickly. With the help of my friend and her boyfriend, we sent him a mock invoice of our own — one charging him for arrogance, embarrassment, and wasted oxygen. His mask cracked, and the “nice guy” vanished into angry texts and excuses. I didn’t respond. I just blocked him — and learned that red flags sometimes wear button-downs and bring roses. Because real romance doesn’t come with terms and conditions.